sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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