Dude my mom stole all your condoms
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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