one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I would ride that face into the sunset
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
