I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
