I feel great
I just peed on a car
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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