I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
