I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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