i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
