I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just had sex on a roof
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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