I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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