Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
