I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
