id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize