hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
