Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
