I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
BRING THE BAGELS
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
