he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just high enough for therapy.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
