awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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