He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
