i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
