Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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