I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
