Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
operation have a gay friend backfired
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
