just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
