If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
