Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
