He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
