I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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