I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
be right there i have to get my cape
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
jump out the window naked night went bad
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize