Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize