did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
