she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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