someone get that fucking seahorse.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
