he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
