We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
