if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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