Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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