And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
