Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
