we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
