We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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