Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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