Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
