well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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