You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
