Who did Billy Mays play for?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize