he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
