We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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