Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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