So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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