i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
