ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
