Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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