I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize