ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
