I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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