its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
