Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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