I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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