so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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