ya dads aren't the best wingmen
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i will never coherently bang her
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Every concussion has its silver lining
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
dude. I can hear the air.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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