Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize