Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
