We should be called the Road Head Warriors
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
