I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
