ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
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