Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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