Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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