So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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