Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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