ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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