I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
In the future we'll all be gay
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
