Say something about gay babies.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
