She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
