i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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