Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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