Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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