i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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