yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
