Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
