If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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