I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize
