He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
