Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My vagina is very pro this idea
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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