WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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